When you’re in a relationship, it’s so easy to immerse yourself in it. It’s not intentional, you just love being around the person and it can be all-consuming. It’s you and them against the world and you just cosy up together. I moved in with Mark pretty soon after we got together, so the immersion was instant. It didn’t help that I don’t have many friends near where I live, so I was able to really get “stuck in” as it were.
I am a firm believer that needing space isn’t a death knell for your relationship – luckily Mark is on the same page as me. In fact, having space is what’s going to make sure it’s happy, loving and successful. I read something the other day that talked about how, if you don’t have space from your partner, from your family, from whoever, that you’re never going to bring anything new to the relationship and that’s pretty much the nail in the coffin.
Here are my three reasons for having a little time to yourself.
1. To remember who you are
Now, don’t go all Simba on me, but once you’re in a relationship, and you’re happy, you can sort of forget what you yourself are like. You could have the nicest, most supportive partner in the world, but if they don’t like listening to shoe gaze or doing jigsaw puzzles, then you’re probably not going to do it while they’re around.
When you take a little bit of time out and remember that actually you really enjoy peanut butter and banana toast/watching bad documentaries on kids who kill/stalking your old school friends/legitimate hobbies/all of the above, you remind yourself that you have your own thoughts and feelings and interests, and that’s what makes you interesting.
I feel like I’m failing on this count. I have my blog, and I’m determined to try harder and make it work really well, but I also need to cultivate some hobbies, some passions that make me interesting!
2. To relax
Even if you don’t really have semi-weird things that you like doing by yourself, having the house to yourself or grabbing an hour in the tub can be really relaxing. If you’ve seen my previous post on my tiny bathroom, you’ll know that I don’t have a tub, but sometimes I take a while in the shower? Does that count?
Even if you spend your time laying on your bed wondering what you’re doing with your life (just me? just millennials? Great.) if you spend it chilling out then it’s time well spent!
3. To give other people space
Just as you need space, so does your partner/your family/best mates. Making sure that you get your space means that they can pursue their interest in poisonous houseplants or w/e they fancy.
Do you make time and space for yourself? What do you do?Shall we take a mo to talk about my outfit in these photos please? I felt like I was straight out of St Trinians or something – very 60’s catholic school girl. It’s a relatively simple dress from Disturbia, but it somehow makes me look like I have legs that go on forever. The fishnet disguises the fact that it is quite low cut, so my bra did pop out a couple of times to say hello.
I wanted to go a little bit autumnal, which is why I went for over the knee socks (but I’m too tall for and they just about go over my knee). These photos are very green though, so you’d be forgiven for thinking that autumn hadn’t hit Yorkshire quite yet – don’t worry, I was definitely a little chilly!
What do you think? Wearable?