I have a proper conflict going on about whether I’m alternative enough. Sometimes I feel pretty badass. I like the way I dress and in general, I feel okay about the way I look. Then on the other hand, I’m bored with my hair and my make up and the way I dress is rubbish and I do need that hat/dress/top/shoe/bag/piercing/hair colour etc to make me look cool.

I think it all comes down to who you’re comparing yourself to. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget that I don’t look like the vast majority of regular people. When you’ve created a bit of an echo chamber for yourself by following loads of cool people on social media, and you hang out with a bunch of cool-looking people, you compare yourself to the others around you and start thinking: am I alternative enough? I start to feel like I don’t look any different and I’m just the same as all the other girls with alternative style. It’s especially true when you see someone bit more extreme than you.

In the grand scheme of things, I don’t really consider myself particularly out there in terms of style. I don’t have black hair and I don’t wear trad goth or victoriana style clothes. I don’t have lots of tattoos or piercings. I’ve never worn black lipstick and I don’t particularly like horror films or heavy metal over any other genre. So it’s hard to label myself as “alt” in that sense.

I don’t know whether I’d consider my style more grungey, gothy, witchy or maybe even punky. I’d like to think I have a bit of a mix, but I’m so sick of the word “goth” that I don’t really care if I’m that to be honest…

Does anyone else remember those photos of punks and old hippy ladies where they all looked eerily similar? They thought they looked different from the norm – and they did when you compared them to the mainstream – but you put them altogether and they follow a very set aesthetic. The punks all had mohawks and wore leather jackets with patches and pins, and the old ladies had long frizzy hair and cardis. I guess what I mean is that you can be as alt as you like but there’s nothing new in this world so you’re never going to be as unique or different as you want to be (harsh but true).

But when you go out into town, and you get weird looks because you have a large portion of your hair shaved off and a ring through your nose, you remember that you’re different enough.

Do you ever feel like you’re not “alt” enough?

Cardi – Primark | Moth Dress – Primark | Crop Top – Primark | Boots – Dr Martens | Bag – Disturbia | Necklace – Killstar

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