So despite the fact that I can quite openly confess to you that I am in no way a queen of darkness or the ultimate nugoth princess, I wanted to share with you 10 of my best ungoth confessions.
So here goes.
1. I listen to all sorts of music.
I’m not really sure what constitutes goth music these days to be honest. Metal? Hardcore? 80s goth? Do people still listen to the Cure? Something screamy? I dunno, I’m not goth enough.
I listen to anything from Motown, folk, rock, pop, ambient, my sister’s drum and bass… the list goes on. It’s normally just to do with my mood tbh.
If I’m feeling motivated then you’ll probably catch me listening to Britney Spears’ “work b*tch” and if I want to dance I’ll put Prince on and if I want to feel badass I might listen to Nine Inch Nails.
2. I wear pink, Adventure Time pyjamas.
Admit it, you’re jealous.
When I was about 12 (maybe older) I told my mum that I wanted to be a goth – stop laughing – and she asked me what colour I’d like to wear.
She said that I could wear purple or silver if I wanted to.
I decided purple was my fave colour, so that’s what I’d wear. I had purple eyeliner and mascara and hair glitter. In the words of Adore Delano, I looked fucking cool.
Nowadays I do stick to black or grey most of the time, apart from when I get home and I instantly get in my pink pjs.
3. I don’t enjoy horror.
I like Disney and Pixar and period dramas and Sci Fi and thrillers but horror? Oh, no.
I like the *idea* of horror, and some of the theory behind it, but suggest a scary film and I’m like “nope”.
My best friend and I watched Idle Hands when we were kids and I had nightmares for WEEKS. Yep. Idle Hands. I’m not even sure she knows about that.
I once sat through the Amityville Horror and spent most of it on my phone playing some game on my phone, because, actually, I didn’t want to watch it.
I made stupid jokes through “Missed Call” that essentially ruined it for everyone else (i.e. what happens when it goes to answerphone?) because I was trying to combat being scared by being hilarious. Yeah.
4. I have never had a photo taken in a graveyard, or spent an extended period of time there.
Not even a little bit. Graveyards are kind of creepy.
5. I love playing the lamest computer games.
Like, LEGO Jurassic park and LEGO Star Wars and the Sims.
6. I love RuPaul’s Drag Race… and Great British Bake Off.
On Drag Race: Its not even just the weird queens either. When they look fierce, they look fierce. And I appreciate that.
Props go to my friends Katie and Annis for encouraging me to watch it. It’s now my favourite TV show. Whenever I’m feeling a bit crappy, that’s what goes on.
On Bake Off: People in a big tent baking. With Mel and Sue. It’s so simple. So brilliant. I am SO sad it’s ended. I looked forward to it every year, like it was Christmas or something. Seriously.
7. On that note, I LOVE Christmas!
By rights I should have Nightmare Before Christmas decorations and a black tree or something. Sure. I think they’re cool.
But.
I much prefer my regular, green tree with its star on the top and its gold and copper decorations.
Presents wrapped in colourful paper and glitter and ribbon and shiny stuff.
I love going home and seeing my family and reverting back to childhood roles with my sister (i.e. giggling uncontrollably at stuff that makes no sense to anyone else).
8. Ladybirds are on a par with Spiders
It’s probably not very goth to not like spiders, but I don’t like ladybirds either.
The story goes that when I was a kid there was a ladybird swarm. I was on holiday with my family, going to the beach. Then a swarm descended. They were everywhere, and they were biting. So it kind of traumatised me a bit.
I’m okay with one ladybird, as long as it’s not flying. They just freak me out a bit okay?
They’re supposed to be the cute bugs but they’re just not! Waaaah.
9. I don’t shave my eyebrows.
I draw them on, yes. But they’re so blonde that you can’t see them, so I don’t do anything with them.
At all.
I’d love some natural brows, but I can’t be arsed dyeing them and tweezing them and generally maintaining them. Cba.
10. I think one of the stereotypes that people have of goths is that they’re sad all the time.
That’s not true. Sure, I get sad sometimes, but I’m not goth because I’m sad and I don’t get sad coz I’ve forgotten what colour is.
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In short, I think labels can be helpful. They help you fill in blanks.
But just because someone wears a lot of black or they love the darker side of life, doesn’t mean they hate colour, that they don’t love Disney or singing along to catchy pop tunes.
Now I don’t know about you, but I’m totally sick of seeing the word “goth” now, so I’m going to go and grab a cup of tea!
Do you ever feel stereotyped?
